How to Complain LessDec 19, 2022
It’s usually never as bad as you make it.
I’ve delivered over 100,000 transformation programs since 1996.
And, truth be told, not every one of my client-athletes followed my plan.
Some simply never took action or failed to show up and, as a result, got mediocre results.
Now as a coach delivering these daily lessons (like the one you are reading now), some might think I have a "holier-than-thou" mindset; but that's not the case.
I'm flawed like you.
I have challenging times, just like you.
I feel blue and depressed when things aren't going the way I imagined them.
I worry about things that are beyond my control.
Why does this happen?
It's because the human brain often makes things worse than they actually are.
The negative thoughts in your head appear to be bigger problems than what's actually happening.
A quick story about a soldier who lost the use of his legs after stepping on a land mine in Afghanistan.
Now, mind you, this guy was an athlete before his injury (earning varsity letters in multiple high school sports) and he continued to have an athletic mindset after the injury.
He was being interviewed for a newspaper when the reporter asked him if he felt "confined" to his wheelchair.
The soldier's response was not what you would expect.
He said, "My wheelchair liberates me. It gives me freedom. Without my chair I would be confined to a bed."
I thought to myself: I can learn so much from this man.
His attitude is so positive, even when facing insurmountable challenges.
A good reminder to keep your life in perspective, even when things aren't going "perfect."
One of my coaches (yes, I use coaching too) always says to me...
"It’s all imperfect."👈
Things are going to happen in life, and many times they are bad.
But, if you shift the way you think about them, from bad to a learning experience, that’s just part of the journey.
Of course this mindset will not prevent challenging things from happening.
But it will allow you to handle them much better -- and get you back on the proverbial horse much faster.
New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.
Think of it like this: When life gets "bad," it’s going to get better real soon.
Human emotions are like the weather, some days it’s nice, some days it rains. It’s not going to rain forever and I kind of enjoy a rainy day once in a while.
We have a saying in my guaranteed-results fitness-and-nutrition coaching program called: Ignore The Crazy Headtrash (I.T.C.H.)
When you acknowledge that lots of the negative thoughts are just not real, you’ll deal with challenges so much better.
That’s your main job.
The better you equip yourself to overcome challenges, the more success you’ll have.
How to Complain Less
If you are having trouble overcoming daily challenges, try to implement a “No Complaining Rule” within your personal life and/or your work life.
Easier said than done, huh?
It’s amazing how much “mindless complaining” we do as humans.
We complain when it’s hot. We complain when it’s cold.
We complain when we’re busy. We complain when we’re bored.
We complain about being stuck in traffic. We complain when someone's driving too fast.
You get it.
Here are three “No Complaining” tools and challenge you to see how you can fit them into your personal life, home life, or work life.
1. The But-Positive Technique
This simple strategy helps you turn your complaints into positive thoughts, solutions, and actions.
It works like this.
When you realize you are comparing, you simply add the word but and then a positive thought or action.
“I don’t like driving to work for an hour but I’m thankful I can drive and that I have a job.”
“I don’t like that I’m out of shape but I love feeling great so I’m going to focus on exercise and eating right.”
2. Focus on “Get To” instead of “Have To”
This was a big one.
Too often we complain and focus on what we have to do.
We say things like “I have to go to work.”
“I have to drive here.”
Instead, shift your perspective and realize it’s not about having to do anything.
You get to do things. You get to live this life.
You get to go to work while so many are unemployed.
You get to drive in traffic while so many don’t even have a car or are too sick to travel.
Focus on what you get to do.
Focus on feeling blessed instead of stressed.
Focus on gratitude.
3. Turn Complaints Into Solutions
The goal is not to eliminate all complaining.
The intent is to eliminate the kind of mindless complaining that doesn’t serve a greater purpose and allow complaining that is justified and worthwhile.
Mindless complaining is negative, justified complaining is positive.
The difference is intent.
With mindless complaining, you are mindlessly focusing on problems; however, with justified complaining, you identify a problem and the complaint moves you toward a solution.
Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive.
I like that the tools and book overall didn’t just have this “tough guy” mentality that you can never complain, because the title certainly gives that feeling.
However, instead, it drove home the point that we quite often complain mindlessly, and instead need to provide a solution if we’re going to complain.
Overall a lot of lessons you can hopefully apply to your personal life or work life.
Here's to a great day,
Joseph Arangio helps 40+ men and women get leaner, stronger, and happier. He's delivered over 100,000 transformation programs to satisfied clients around the globe. If you want to lose weight from home, with the best online personal trainer, or you want to visit the best personal trainer in the Lehigh Valley, you can take a free 14-day trial.